Stone Cold sober beer club

You won't find these bad boy craft beers from Independent UK breweries in the supermarket.

 

It's time to say no to Becks Blue.

Experience New Beers Every Month
The Suplex 6 Pack - Non Alcoholic Craft Beer Monthly Subscription - Functional Drinks Club

The Suplex 6 Pack - Non Alcoholic Craft Beer Monthly Subscription
£20.00
The Stunner 12 Pack - Non Alcoholic Craft Beer Monthly Subscription - Functional Drinks Club

The Stunner 12 Pack - Non Alcoholic Craft Beer Monthly Subscription
£40.00

How the Club Works

Step 1:

Choose your box size

Choose either a 6 or 12 Pack.  We recommend the 12 Pack so you've got enough Bangers to enjoy across the month.

Step 2:

Pay for your first box

When you join the club we'll send your first box out immediately to enjoy.

Step 3:

Your second box

We'll pick, pack, and ship the beers for your second box the 1st week of the following month.

Step 4:

Sit back and relax

You'll then receive a new box of beers the 1st week of every month until you cancel, skip, or pause your subscription.

Step 5:

Enjoy better days.

After a while you'll notice the difference not drinking alcohol makes on your entire life.  Better mornings.  More Productive.  Just better all round.  And it helps the beers are banging.

Your mornings will thank you.

Google Reviews

People Love Us

5/5 rating

"Dropped in today and it was a revelation. So enjoyable to have a range of non-alcoholic drinks to try. Kev was so knowledgeable also - we'll definitely be coming back!"

Chris O'Connor

Variety Craft Beer Box

5/5 rating

"It was super busy when we called in this afternoon! The team could not have been more helpful and welcoming. We have a good selection of beers and wines in the fridge waiting to sample and can't wait to get stuck in. The kombucha was delicious, I would highly recommend the ginger. We look forward to becoming regulars."

Louise Cartwright

Craft Lager Box

5/5 rating

"The staff were super friendly and helpful. We've got the beers and the wine chilling in the fridge now and can't wait to try them. Will definitely be back, great to see a business like this in Otley. Good luck Kevin and the team!"

Jamie Koplick

Craft IPA Box

Supporting Independents

We love discovering new non-alcoholic beers, and when we find one all we want to do is share it with the world.  It's these bangers that you'll find in your delivery box each month.

Breweries in the Boxes

Just a selection of the breweries you can expect to find beers from in each of the boxes.  And because we change them up every month based on what we're drinking and loving in the shop, you'll always have the freshest drops to enjoy.

The Shop Experience
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You won't believe it exists
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When people visit for the first time they can't believe a place like this exists, and that there's so many non-alcoholic beers and kombucha to choose from.

 

Every delivery box is handpicked and packed with the non-alcoholic craft beers we're enjoying in the shop this month.

All Killer, No Filler Guarantee

This is us letting you know that you'll only find craft beer made from independent makers in your delivery box.  If you find a supermarket beer in there, I'll eat my own underpants....or just send you an extra can in your next box.  Yep, I'd probably prefer to do it that way round if I'm honest.

ESTABLISHED 
2023

Our Story

Conscious Living

At the start of 2023 I realised that my life was on auto-pilot and I was missing out on my little girl grow up.

 

Outside looking in, I had everything that is meant to make you happy.

 

Good job, house, car, family, partner, daughter, friends, Merlin Platinum Annual Pass.

 

And yet, I was on autopilot going from one day to the next.  I was existing, not living.

 

It was at that moment I decided I was not going to be that person on their death bed who wished they did things differently.

 

So I made the change.

 

I stopped drinking alcohol, focused on my gut health, and decided to become a better version of myself.  And most importantly, a role model for my little girl.

 

It's a journey, but it's made a lot easier with banging non-alcoholic craft beers and kombucha to drink along the way.

Got Questions?

Frequently Asked Questions

Where is Functional Drinks Club?

Functional Drinks Club can be found in the historic market town Otley, Leeds.

 

The address if you ever want to visit the shop:

 

17 Manor Square

Otley

LS21 3AP

What delivery service do you use?

For our Beer Boxes we use Royal Mail to get them to you.

 

The truth is, they'll probably still lose your box or deliver it to the wrong address.

 

I've test all the different services and they're all as bad as each other.

How long does delivery take?

You'll get your box within 4 days of putting your order in.

 

We take a little longer because we handpick each box and don't pack them with Brewdog, Infinite, Erdinger, or any other beer you can pick up at the supermarket for £1.50 a pop.

Do you do returns?

Not really, bit of a pain for everyone involved.

 

If the box arrives and the cans inside are damaged, don't return them.  Just take a picture of the damage within 24 hours of it being delivered and send the picture through to kevin@functionaldrinksclub.co.uk 

 

We'll then send out a replacement box for you.

 

If you get the box and you don't like some of the beers, then that happens because we're always sending new drops out each month where possible.

Do you do a monthly subscription box?

All our non-alcoholic delivery boxes can be bought as a one-off purchase or as a mo

What if I like Becks Blue?

This isn't the club for you because you have zero taste and won't get the appreciation of true craft non-alcoholic beers that have had love and care put into every single sip.

Why aren't your boxes branded?

We used to have branded boxes, but then we discovered that it was always the branded boxes that got lost in the "post".

 

And the delivery providers (we've used them all) don't really care if they lose your package, and they don't take any accountability or responsibility for it getting lost in their system.

 

So, after losing a ton of money I decided that it was more important for the drinks to reach you.

Do I need to wear spandex while drinking the beers?

You can wear what ever you want when drinking your Stone Cold Sober Beers.

 

If you do decide to dress like an old school wrestler, then make sure you post it on social on a tag us in it.